An Update

Work is all consuming at present. I'm working shifts... which means that my work rota and the hours I work, changes from week to week. One week I might end up working 36 hours, and the next it might be down to 27 hours. Its something that I'm still adjusting as it means that making plans weeks in advance is really tricky as I won't have my rota by then and so I won't know if I'll be working or not. It makes life interesting.

I never thought I'd find working in a pub so interesting and challenging at the same time. The hours I generally work are very antisocial as I'll be working when most people aren't and the other way around. Its helpful and not helpful at the same time. Often I can get things done, like going to the bank, that I wouldn't get done in a job with more regular hours. I've met and been able to serve many different types of people and its taught me so much about how to interact with everyone. For example, every Tuesday evening, The Coaching Halt hosts a very popular quiz night. Its normally fully booked, if almost fully booked. Every week we'll have both the regulars, who have been coming for ages, and then we'll have one off customers. Many will have drinks and sometimes a meal as well. Normally I end up serving the same people every week and some of them have know who I am, and where I came from.

Since I started working at The Coaching Halt, I've been asked where I'm from on an almost daily basis. I don't have a very English accent and most people pick up on this and will ask where I'm originally from. They're usually surprised when I say that I'm British Dutch by nationality, but was born and grew up in Africa. My necklace also has caused questions when noticed. I'm wearing a silver Africa pendent, given to me by my dad, over Christmas 2014 (the last Christmas I celebrated with my parents and siblings and the last time I was in Uganda).

In a way, when I was in Youth With A Mission, I somehow managed to have Christmas off and usually spent it with family, with the exception of my Discipleship Training School DTS outreach. This year, since I'm working in a pub that's open all year round, I'll be working on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day... I'll also be working over New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I've also got a very special person visiting me from Paris, my younger sister Hannah is coming over for a couple of days on Christmas Eve. Even though I'll be working, it'll give her the opportunity to get to know Andy and his family since she's the only one who hasn't met Andy yet. Its been almost two years since we saw one another. This was down to financial and time restrictions. We're both really excited about it!

Now That I'm Employed

Its been three weeks and a few days since I started working at The Coaching Halt and since I started I've been meaning to post something here to let you all know its going, but due to the busyness of working at a restaurant with shift hours that I'm not used to has left me too tired to do all the things I've wanted to do.

I'm working as a server and bartender in a typical English pub, called The Coaching Halt. Going to the pub is a big part of English culture. They normally have a bar area and will also have seated areas. Each pub will have its own style and way of service. There are also different companies that own a chain of pubs and taverns. Weatherspoon's is a popular restaurant/pub chain. The Coaching Halt belongs to one such company, called Marston's and is a relatively new pub, having been open only four years.

One of the things I love about the The Coaching Halt is how close it is to home (I'll get to that in a moment). Its only about fifteen to twenty minutes away by foot, so I'll normally walk to work on my own, and Andy will normally collect me when I'm done. Since I usually work evening shifts and usually leave at closing time, I'm never sure what time I'll be finished. So there's been two or three times I've had to get an Uber home (if you don't know what Uber is, its a taxi company that allows normal drivers to use their cars as a taxi service through the app) and send Andy the driver's name and information, just in case.

Working as a server is a lot more fulfilling than I thought it would be. I can't explain it properly, but I do love my job and the satisfaction it brings. Given I never thought I'd end up enjoying working as a server and bartender. This means that my job is to take food and drink orders, put them through to the kitchen, pour drinks (well, the ones I know how to) and bring the drinks to the tables. Sometimes I'll also have to run food out. This means that when the kitchen calls for 'service' one of the servers need to go to the kitchen and take the food to the table on the ticket. It can be a bit tricky sometimes because the plates can be hot (thus I'll usually grab a tea towel) or the orders might have been put through wrong.

Another thing about working in a pub is that each week the rota for everyone's shifts will change. This means that I will normally know what days I'll be working on for roughly the next ten days to two weeks. So it can be tricky arranging to see people well in advance, but since I generally work the evening shift (5pm until closing time), I'll arrange to see people during the day, and make sure I have enough time to get ready to get to work. My salary also comes in once a week rather than once a month. Its a satisfying feeling knowing that I'm earning the money coming into my bank account.

I've also managed to post some photos of the time Andy and I spent in South Africa on my Flickr account. Now that I'm working, I'm not sure how often I'll be posting on here, however, please do take a few moments to fill in this questionnaire for me! It'll be most helpful!

Until next time!

On Safari

One of Moholoholo's Lions

A lot can happen in the space of a few weeks. Andy and I went down to South Africa to visit my parents six days after we got back from Yorkshire. It was intensely busy ten days or so with them, which is why I haven't posted anything here during our time there. My mum really enjoyed planning a lot of various things for us to do whilst we were there, as it was Andy's first visit to the continent of Africa and we all wanted it to be a memorable visit for him, and for us as a couple.

In this post I'm going to share some of the photos I took whilst we were there and a few things we got up to whilst we were with my parents. My parents live in a wildlife estate and so we had the warthogs visiting on a daily basis. I had a lot of fun photographing the warthogs when they'd come by. They found my camera quite interesting as I'm not sure they quite knew what to make of it and were really curious about it. I really enjoyed using the gift that Andy gave me and practising the suggestions that Andy had given me. He's been teaching me how to become a better photographer. All the photos in this post (save the last one) have been taken with the Panasonic Lumix DMC-G1.

Andy and I flew out of London Gatwick Airport, which is right on Crawley's doorstep (and is less than twenty minutes away by car from where we live). Our journey took us via Kigali, Rwanda, as we were flying Rwandair. When we arrived at OR Tambo Airport, Johannesburg, we were collected by my parents, who had just gotten back from a conference in Cape Town. We then collected my younger brother from Nelspruit and then drove to Hoedspruit. We got to my parents home absolutely exhausted from the travelling.

Stoffel

One of the places we went to was the Moholoholo Rehab Centre just outside Hoedspruit, where wild animals are rehabilitated and then released back into the wild. They also provide homes and welfare for animals that aren't able to be returned back into the wild, like the lion pictured above. Andy had two of the items on his bucket list checked off there. He was able to stroke a cheetah (one of the animal ambassadors that go into schools, with their handlers, advocating what to do animal respect) and one of the bateleurs that live permanently at the centre (this is due to an injury it received which means it can't be released into the wild). We really enjoyed the tour. The guide, Moses (if I remember correctly) was a great narrator and passionate about the animals he and the others took care of. A highlight, for me, was seeing Stoffel again. Stoffel is a honey badger (pictured above). He's quite a character and an incredible escape artist. They've even made documentaries, on YouTube, about his exploits (I've found a short one if you're interested in watching it, just click here. If you're interested in watch any more, just type "Stoffel honey badger" into YouTube's search engine). He's one of the permanent residents at Moholoholo and was here when I last visited the centre somewhere in 2013/2014.

Andy Watching The Elephants

We also spent two nights at a bush camp that's owned by friends of my parents. This bush camp is situated on a beautiful game reserve that has the Big Five (lion, leopard, rhino, elephant and buffalo). Whilst we were there we went on two game drives in the evenings, which was truly incredible, and Andy also went on two bush walks, in the mornings, with one of the rangers (I went on the second walk with him). We were able to see quite a large variety of animals during the bush drives. The elephants, pictured here, were incredibly funny. The matriarch, Beckie, had been raised by the rangers and would rumble a greeting when we met them on the first game drive. When we saw them on the second day, they had gotten a drink at the water reservoir, and then Beckie saw that one of the rangers had brought a group of tourists across this bridge to the viewing platform where Andy and I were standing, so went to greet him. She then led her small herd towards the camp entrance so someone had to go and shut it quickly before she actually came into the camp.

These were some of the highlights of our trip to South Africa. I'll write again soon.

I Got A Job!!!

Just A Random Photo of Ash

I've been living in England about two and a half months now and have been actively looking for work since the beginning of August, when NewDay 2017 ended. It's been a trial of faith and patience, that I can assure you. I'd only had one interview since I'd started looking and after the trial, that particular job came to naught. I went weeks and weeks of handing my CV out and contacting various jobs, whilst not hearing anything back from them, in regards to interviews of if the job had already gone. Then last week everything blew up, so to say. In the space of two days I had three interviews and two trials lined up. One was at the nearby pub and restaurant, the second was at an Italian food bar in Crawley's County Mall, and the third was at a restaurant at one of Gatwick Airport's hotels. I had done an interview at both the pub and the Italian food bar, with a trial at the second. I did a trial at the food bar, but got asked to come back after I get back from South Africa to see if there was still a position for me. Whilst I was doing the trial last week, I received an email from the the pub, The Coaching Halt, asking me to call them and when I did I discovered that I'd got the position. I was thrilled. I then went down with my paperwork for to sort that out before I left for York. I then had to cancel my interview at the restaurant in the hotel up at Gatwick.

I'm hoping to start as soon as I get back from South Africa in a few weeks time. I'm so happy! So thank you for your prayers!

The Last Few Weeks

A Stag in Woburn Abbey Park

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I went up to York for a few days to spend some time with Andy and his brother, both of whom were spending time with their dad and stepmum. We did a lot of walking through the Yorkshire and Bedfordshire countryside. I took my camera (a gift from Andy) with me and so I took loads of photos when I was there. I've created an album on Flickr... if you want to view them, seem them click here. I've also added the photographs I took when we were walking through Whitby and at the Bridestones of Pickering. It was an adventure as we went to places I've never been to before and even though there were disappointments along the way, I learned to deal with these disappointments quietly and quickly. On Friday, the day before we got home, we travelled to the village of Woburn, and went for a walk through the grounds of Woburn Abbey. It was beautiful. That night Ben and Andy stayed in hotel with their dad and stepmum, whilst I stayed in an AirBnB listing in the nearby town. Its my fourth time using AirBnb and I'm full of praise for them. The listing I stayed out was as good as staying in a hotel, but for a fraction of the price. It's almost like staying with friends of friends.

Bournemouth Harbour

I've also met Andy's maternal grandparents. On Saturday 23 September, we went travelled to Bournemouth to spend the day with Andy's grandparents. I've never been to Bournemouth before, since as far as I know, my family never travelled to that part of the country. I really enjoyed walking into town to see the sites and walk about. It's been lovely being able to spend time with various extended family members and I'm also grateful I'm not meeting them all at once over Christmas. I'm also seeing more and more, where different mannerisms of both Andy and his brother, Ben, come from, as we spent a few hours with their paternal grandparents at the end of August.

I'm going to write a separate post about some news I want to share in regards to what's happening on the job front.

The Wait

The last six days have been quiet with nothing much going on. Well beyond being slightly unwell due to a bug or something that's been going around. Thankfully, we're both doing a lot better now.

As of publishing this post, Andy and I still don't have jobs. They should either phone or email. I haven't had either... so I have no idea if the jobs I've applied for are still processing my CV and references, or if the position's already taken by someone else. They'll only contact us if they want one of us to come in for an interview. We're still looking for work and praying that the right jobs will turn up for both of. The waiting has been hard on both of us because it means that we're both at home looking for work, as a lot of it is done online these days. Applying for work online is challenging for both of us as we're both over qualified for minimum wage, and under qualified for anything else. This is down to the fact that we both only got half way through our A -levels before quitting. The hardest part is the waiting. I'd hoped we'd have gotten work four weeks ago. I know God is working on both of us, but we both need work and as soon as possible. Please pray that we're both able to get work as soon as possible as we need the money.

In exactly three weeks time Andy and I will be boarding a Rwandair, via Kigali, to South Africa to visit my parents. We'll be spending about ten days with them doing the normal holiday, touristy stuff as it will be Andy's first time in Africa. My parents are really excited to be meeting Andy for the second time (they met him for the first time at my granddad John's funeral in May). I'm also hoping to go with Andy to visit his father in about ten days' time... though there are still a few wrinkles that need ironing out.

A Very Long Entry, Finally

Smudge

Another week has gone by. Another seven days when I still don't have a job. Its not down to my inactivity. Its down to waiting to hear from the companies I've handed my CV in to. In a way, and from the stories I've heard, its not surprising I've not heard anything back. I just need to keep looking... and praying that I hear from the right place. I think I'm realising that even though I might apply to quite a number of different jobs, I'll only hear back from a fraction of them. I don't know why its like this, but I'm praying I find the right one and soon. I can't afford to go without a job for much longer. Andy also hasn't found a job yet, and is also still looking. As the days pass its becoming more and more critical for both of us to find employment.

Ash

I have a piece of good news, which is part of the reason I'm writing this post. I wrote, in my last post, that I would be hearing back from the Dutch in regards to the amount I needed to pay back by Friday (yesterday). I have indeed heard back from them and the error that had caused the amount I needed to pay to be so high, (€622), had been amended. The Dutch government expects you to pay a Dutch health insurer to cover you (its all private over there) if you're registered to live in the Netherlands. If the government finds out that you haven't been insured or have been insured with a non-Dutch insurance company, then you're in trouble. So I got a call from them yesterday afternoon, saying that it's all been amended and that I should get another letter in the post with the new amount I need to pay. It should be a much lower amount, thankfully.

The Garden

Since I've got this open, I might as well update you on a couple of different areas I've written about before, starting with my love of photography. I'm still taking photographs on a daily basis, as I always do, with the goal of uploading them onto Blipfoto. I've gone into a dip and since I've gone through this before, I'm not worried. Just as long as I make sure I post each photo I take to the date it was taken (in accordance with the rules). I've still not found anyone I know who has joined up because of me. Oh well. It doesn't stop me posting daily, even if its just for my own pleasure and enjoyment. I am most grateful that Blipfoto hasn't shut down. For those of you who aren't aware of it, Blipfoto went into liquidation a few years back and came very close to shutting down. Thankfully, it was bought out by the users, through a crowd funding campaign. Its an incredible website with a very unique community that I love being a part of. All the photos in this blog have been taken with the camera Andy bought me, its a Panasonic Lumix DMC-G1.

My Current Read

Over the last year and a half, or so, I've been reading my way through a ten book series, called Outlander (books nine and ten are still in the works). Some of you, who have been reading my blogs during this time frame, have read my extensive writings about this series. I'm currently on book five; The Fiery Cross. I'm not going to write any spoilers, because a good friend of mine, McKenzie, is a few books behind me in the series. We're both waiting, excitedly, for the next season to be aired at some point during September. I have a feeling I might have to pay to get Amazon Prime to be able to watch the series. Thankfully Amazon Prime is free for the thirty days and I'm hoping that by the time I need to pay for it I'll have a job. One thing I've noticed as I'm working through the Outlander books is that the books are getting longer and longer. Outlander (the first book) has about six hundred and forty pages, whilst The Fiery Cross has over a thousand pages. Its not often I end up reading books of this length. It's taken me months getting through the books at the moment. I think its partly due to the length and partly due to the fact that I'm struggling reading anything right now. I'm getting half way through most books and then giving up... then going back to them later on. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy reading and I really looking forwards to getting my hands on book nine. Book nine is currently being written, but doesn't have a release date. According to Diana Gabaldon, the author, the main series is going to stop at book ten, but there's other books linked to the series to read.

My Library Card

As I'm on the topic of books I recently joined the Crawley Library. Membership is free unless I go borrow a book beyond the date I need to return it by or if I borrow audiobooks, DVDs and CDs. I'm pretty pleased about this as I've not been part of a library since I left school, thanks to all the moving I've been doing over my life. I remember vaguely being part of a library when we lived in England when I was eight. Though the memories of that year are somewhat vague and disjointed. I'm going to be heading into library on a regular basis, and I can use this card at any of the libraries in the county, though I won't really be doing that as I still don't have a driver's licence or a car and commuting anywhere by train is expensive.

Before I sign off, I wanted to mention that I've got started using Twitter. My handle is @inkstainedthumb. If you're also a Twitter user, please find me and follow me. I would much appreciate it.

Until next time.

Challenges

Ash Asleep On My Bed

It's Monday afternoon and we still don't have jobs, however we haven't been sitting around doing nothing. CVs and reference forms have been handed out for weeks now. Every time I've gone into Crawley and seen a shop that has a job vacancy sign in the window, I've gone in and handed one in. There have been a few where I've needed to email them. Most of these jobs have been part-time or temporary, some allow the opportunity to work overtime (I'll get paid for the hours I've worked overtime). I've gotten to the point where I'm willing to take anything at the moment that my qualifications, or lack there of, allows. I still haven't heard anything from any of these shops (as most of them are) or from the job agency where Andy and I handed our CVs into a while back. I'm still hopeful we'll get jobs sooner rather than later as we both need to be able to financially support ourselves (prayers would be much appreciated in this process).

When I was in Holland I was getting a small allowance from the government because my income was below the minimum. When I came over to England I cancelled that, letting them know I'd left the country. Its been a long process of making phone calls, then waiting to receive letters, which needed to sent back. Then on Saturday I got a letter saying I needed to pay six times more than I had expected and there was no explanation why I needed to pay so much. Since I got the letter on Saturday I had to wait until this morning to phone them to ask, which I did. The reason was that the government thought I hadn't been paying my health insurance (which is mean I would have to pay) between February and July. I explained that I had been been paying, so they're going to look into it again. So I should be hearing them again by Friday, hopefully with a favourable outcome (that I don't have to pay the large amount).

Writer's Block; It's Still Here

Here's another one of those posts where I just want to let you in on a little secret, which you might have gathered from the title. I'm still suffering with writer's block. Over the last few months it's taken a toll on my journaling as well as my poetry and my posts. I don't know what to write about and even the suggestions people have been giving me haven't helped. These suggestions have actually had a counter effect than intended as they've just made the writer's block worse. I am grateful that people have wanted to help me by making these kind suggestions.

The biggest issue causing the writer's block is the fact that I want to be original with my writing. I want to write an original story. I want to write something that hadn't already been written about. I don't want to 'borrow' plot outlines from various different writers who's work I love. In a way, I've wondered if my writing has been effected by the fact I'm not really reading any more. I do have the time to read but not the mental energy to keep up with the plot outline of the two books I'm currently trying to read. Even though I am struggling to pick these books up, on the rare occasions I do, I really enjoy reading them. Another issue I've been struggling with, in regards to the writer's block, is that any stories I've thought about writing haven't been able to hold their own on paper. What people don't know about my writing, is that the stories speak through my fingers. I type what I see in my mind's eye and often ninety nine percent of the stories don't get further than a few sentences because I can't see far enough into the story to write it down in a sound manner. I want to be able to write with honour, without feeling forced. I want to give my characters a voice (If I can't hear them, I can't write), and since they speak through my imagination, I want to do my imagination justice. So maybe its my imagination that's currently got issues.

Maybe if I wrote this slightly differently,  it'll be easier to grasp what I mean with the type of writer's block I have. Years ago, I used to write because I loved to write. My imagination was vivid and colourful. But now, I feel like I'm sitting on a windowsill, like Ash in the photo on the right, unable to clearly see through the glass. I should point out now, the window is partially open so I can hear what's coming through the window. On the other side of the glass is a multitude of stories waiting to be written, but I can't see them properly because of the gauze that's covering the glass. I can't lift it, so I'm waiting for it to lift so I can write what I see. I've tried to write what I've heard and again it didn't get far because I couldn't see clearly. All I can do is wait until the gauze is lifted and I can go back to writing from my imagination like I used to do when I was in my teens.

I have edited both my contact page. Please check it out.

Job Hunting

A lot has happened since I last posted here. I've given out my CV twice since I got back from NewDay, had a job interview and a trial, but am still without a job as I write this. The job interview and the trial were at a lovely little cafe in Crawley, but it came to nothing, sadly. I haven't given up hope that I'll find a job and soon. In my heart, I'm hoping and praying I get a job before the end of August, even though I've got ten days before the month's end (and this next weekend is a bank holiday weekend, so a lot of shops aren't open as long next Monday as they normally are). This disappointment has really forced me to trust in God's guidance in my life more than before. Its hard, but I know that He's got the right job for me and I'm trusting I'll find it soon. I'm not going to sit on my hands and wait for the job to fall into my lap. I know that I have to actively look for it. I'm going to the job agency and I'm also going to keep my eyes peeled to see if there's any signs in the shops of Crawley.

A pretty big answer to prayer happened a few weeks back. A few years ago the camera I took with me on my Discipleship Training School DTS outreach to Brazil stopped working properly. I did get a cheap camera last year but it wasn't good quality and didn't last. I'd talked quite a bit with Andy about wanting to get into photography again, but having to use my iPhone 6s camera as I couldn't afford a camera. Then during NewDay Andy and I were walking through the campsite, Andy told me he'd bought me a camera. A Panasonic Lumix DMC-G1. I was thrilled! Its so nice to have a good camera in my hands again. The Lumix DMC-G1 has the automatic photo mode, but it can also be used as a DSLR, the mode where you can adjust different elements, like the exposure and the lighting. It's the type of camera where you can buy different types of lenses for it. At the moment I only have one lens, the standard one that goes general shots. Both the photos in this post were taken with the Lumix.

Until the next time!

Ash The Unusual

Hello again.

Its been a while. Over a month in fact. I haven't known what to write and I still don't. So I'm going to write about a cat named Ash. Ash is black with a bit of white on his chest. He is one of the most unusual cats I've met. When I first met Ash, in June, it took him the better part of five days before he decided to accept me as part of his family, even with some bribery (food). When I moved in, about three weeks ago (four on Friday). It took him another week or so to get used to me all over again. Now, he's demanding his tea by headbutting my shins and knees, as well as putting his front paws on my legs and digging his claws into my legs. Technically he's got to wait a few hours until he can eat, but for him, it's still worth the try. As I'm writing this, he's sitting in the living room, hoping to catch Andy out and beg him for food. Yes, Ash is Andy's cat. The photo here, I just took of Ash, before he went on the prowl again to find someone who'll be kind. He was sitting near his empty food bowl and hoping I'd be nice and feed him.

Since I moved to England, I've been living with Andy's mum and stepdad, whilst I've been writing my CV and job hunting. Andy only just finished impact (this last Sunday) and I'll be moving somewhere else when somewhere else opens up. I would rent an apartment but I'm not that keen on spending £500, minimum, on rent a month... which would roughly be half of my wages. I don't want to use so much of my wages on somewhere to stay. Thankfully, there are a few options on the table for me to choose from... and you'll hear once I've chosen. 

Between 31 July and 6 August, Newday 2017 took place. It was a big learning curve for me. For the first time, I wasn't a delegate. I was one of the leaders with Redeemer's youth group. I really enjoyed being able to have a good closing off week with the teens I've been working with for the last nine months or so, during my internship. On the one hand, the talks were incredible, though things had changed a lot since Newday 2012, when I last went and I really enjoyed it. On the other hand, I found it rather challenging having to block out the thoughts about the future and stay focused on the teenagers (as well as keeping track on where they were in the meetings, which isn't an easy feat in a tent that has about seven thousand other people in it). Its been a bit distracting having lot of the thoughts swirling through my head have been to do with what I'm going to be doing when Newday was done, job wise. I've heard that its really easy finding a job in Crawley (if you don't know where Crawley is, use Google Maps). As I said, I've got options and you'll hear about what I'll decided to do soon enough.

Given you may have already noticed... I haven't written on here in about a month and I'm probably going to keep it this way for the foreseeable future. I don't have anything that I'm interested in, at present, that I could write a long post about that you would want to read about (specifically, books, coffee and photography). So my posts are going to be spontaneous and sporadic. I'll keep posting the post links to Facebook to let you know when a post has been written... or you could hit the subscribe button to be notified without having to wait for me to post on Facebook. Your choice.

Anyway, until the next time, whenever that'll be.

A Quick News Update

In about a week's time I'll be moving to England permanently. Because I'm moving outside of the Netherlands, I'm having to notify the government that I'm leaving the country and thus making visits to the Town Hall. I went in today, but was notified that I need to come in on Monday, as the government requires you let them know five days before you leave, and not before. So my visit was premature.

One thing I really enjoy about the Netherlands is the fact that everything has been made digital. So when I moved to Rijswijk, I notified the government that I'd moved through my digital government account (which I had to set up when I registered to have health insurance, a must, if you live here). However, because my host family aren't moving, I have go into the Town Hall to notify them about the move. Its really easy and straight forward thing to do.

In less than a month, NewDay 2017 will be starting. NewDay 2017 is a NewFrontiers Youth Camp for 11-19 year olds, and is taking place on the show grounds of Norwich, Norfolk, England. The week is made up of teachings and seminars, workshops and outreaches into the communities around Norwich. On average there are between 6,500 and 7,000 young people joining the conference. I'll be joining as a leader with the youth group from Redeemer International Church. I decided to go with Redeemer because I've been a part of the youth group for the last year and I feel that this will be a good week to close off my year with them. I'm really looking forwards to going as I expect that God will be doing great things in my own life and the lives of the teens that will be going. I'll be in England by this point so will be travelling to Norwich to meet the teens there. Its going to be an incredible week!

I'll make sure I post something here after NewDay is done, but I'll be posting on my Blipfoto Account on a daily basis through out NewDay 2017. The easiest way to get notified of my updates is if you create your own Blipfoto Account (personally, I would like to challenge you to your own 365 challenge on Blipfoto) and then choose to follow me, by clicking the the follow button on my profile (if you do, I'll make sure to follow you in return). Or you could save my Blipfoto page to your computer or phone's browser.

Until next time!

Thoughts... On Writer's Block

As I'm starring at my laptop screen I can't help but wonder... where can I get my inspiration from? What can I source my blog topics from?

I've had some great suggestions from the last survey I took but I still don't know what to do with these suggestions. In truth, some of these suggestions conflict with some of the others I received in this last survey and surveys before. One thing was clear, though, I had an overwhelming response to the question "Should I Delete My Blog?" with a emphatic "no". So this blog isn't being deleted, nor am I planning to stop writing here in favour of a new site. I do really enjoy writing. However, I'm still on a journey as to discovering the reasons I'm suffering with writers block (I literally never know what to write) and have been for a while. I would love to start writing another book, something I haven't done since I was about 18 or 19... the biggest problem I've had is a lack of sustainable ideas for a novel. All the ideas I've had just burn themselves out extremely quickly due to the storyline being too predicable. I'm a visual person, who sees everything in full colour photos or films. I also have some type of photographic memory. I also happen to have a very vivid imagination. So when I write, I write the films I see playing out in my imagination. So if I start writing a story based on a thread I see in my head, the story will only work if the thread doesn't snap. If the thread snaps then the story is over. This has usually been happening before I even go to put pen to paper as it were. The stories I've been thinking about aren't sustainable enough to survive a year's worth of writing, at least.

When I was about 18, one of my closest friends lived in the USA and I wanted to write her a book, so when she got home for the summer, she'd have a surprise waiting for her. Something to read during her holidays and on the flight back to college (university, for my English readers). I already had the plot line for entire story in my head and I'd even begun to write it... even though it did take me about four failed starts to get it going. As I wrote the book, the characters began to take a life of their own... in my head, and even I was greatly surprised at the plot twists that came up as I transferred the story from my mind to my computer. There were a few times when I got less than a hour or two of sleep a night, due to the surge of information that needed transferring from my mind to the book as my mind would start working overtime once I got into bed (like now for example). The end was a bit rushed as my friend got home a few weeks early but really enjoyed reading it.

You're probably wondering why I've shared that... I don't know, maybe its from a desire to be more open with something I've been struggling with, writer's block. This leads me to ask for your help again. If you've got any questions you'd like to hear from me about, please click here and you'll be able to ask them on the form. I won't be asking for any of your personal details, so they'll be anonymous. Please read the instructions and if you've got anything you want to ask me, please click here to go to the contact form.

Alone In The Crowds

I'm sitting in London Heathrow's Terminal 5. I'm waiting for my flight back to Amsterdam to be announced. I'm alone in the crowds who, like me, are waiting for their onward flights. I'm exhausted, emotionally, mentally, physically. Tomorrow marks the end of impact and I start a new season in my life. A season I've been dreaming of since July 2015. Moving back to England. I've been praying for the opportunity to move back to England, for two years now and god hasn't opened the doors, until now. I've wanted to come back but never had the right connections to make the move until Andy came into my life. We talked a lot about dates and what to do. Then last night I decided to take the risk of trusting Jesus by stepping out of the boat. I booked a one way bus ticket from Rotterdam Central Station to London Victoria for July 14.

I've got a lot to do between now and when I leave but I've got peace inside that my decision to move is the right one. God has really been opening the doors in the town I'm moving to. He has shown me how deep his love for me goes.

By my posting this blog the decision from the survey was unanimous. The blog will stay up, but there were so many different opinions on what I should write that I'm still at a loss at what to write. I'm not sure how often I'll be writing over the next few months. My life is predominantly made up of boredom or stuff I don't want to write about here. We'll see what the summer holds.

Now I smell my cream of chicken soup so I'm off to start eating that.

Should I? Should I Not?

Life has been crazy over the last few weeks. I've been meaning to sit down and write something here but I've honestly been in a place where writing anything down is challenging. A lot of my favourite writing outlets are suffering as I've not picked up a pen to write a long journal entry in quite a while and I haven't written any good poems in months. It's a case of writers block, tiredness and extreme busyness. I love writing but I'm stuck. I don't know what to write here either.

I know that there are probably questions that you might want to ask. Topics you might want me to cover in my blogs so, despite my misgivings I've put another survey together (but I'll get to that in a moment) as that seems like the only way to get some answers in regards to what I should write about and what some of my readers think about my blog. The only problem I've really had over the last six months or so is this, people didn't just really respond to my surveys. It's a case of having the same handful of people answering the questions on all the surveys and I know more than five people read my blogs on a regular basis, because they've told me they really enjoy what I write.

So the question I've been contemplating over the last few weeks is wether or not I should shut my blog down all together. Delete the whole thing and remove it from the web, not take a break of a few months. I love writing here, but since I don't know what to write, or what my audience would like to read, I'm stuck. That's why I need your help... I've made another survey (the link is below), hopefully my last one for a while. It should only take you a few minutes, but I would really like to know what you think about my blog, as my audience and my readers. And I hope to have made a decision about my blog by the time I next post.

I'd strongly encourage you to take the survey and to do that just click here (the survey will close on Friday 30 June 2017).

Many Blessings

Blipfoto; My Photo A Day Journal

Blipped on 2 June 2017

On January 22, 2014 I started a journey of adventure, discovery and learning. I had only just turned 21, and was living in South Africa with my parents... when I discovered a platform called blipfoto.com/. This website is one that allows the user to post one photo a day, with along with a description, a title, tags and a location. It's a simplified version of blogging on here, but on a daily basis. In a way its a bit like having Instagram or Flickr, where you can't post the text without the photo to go with it.

I found Blipfoto through a friend of a friend who had an account that she'd kinda stopped using. I loved the idea and once I started Blipping (as we call it) I never stopped. It takes a lot of commitment as you have to choose to take a photo every day, without fail, for as long as you possibly can. I've also come under a lot of criticism for doing it; due a case of legalism in those around me as they didn't think I should be in bondage (or something along those lines) to posting daily (or to coffee, but that's another story). For me and for many others, Blipfoto has become an addiction, its something we truly love to do, partly to experience the world through the eyes of others and to document our ordinary or not so ordinary lives as we journey through each day. I've learned so much from those I follow and who's lives I've seen change in so many different ways since I started following them. Some of whom I've been following since I joined the platform, whilst others I've started following over the last few months.

Personally, I've seen my photography improve over the years as this journal marks a day by day expedition across countless borders and into new countries and cities, as I turn new leaves and start new adventures. I love looking back and seeing where I've been over the years, as I remember the situations behind my sometimes cryptic descriptions. Generally because I've wanted to protect people who were giving me a hard time, or because I wanted to keep something quiet as I wanted to pray into it more.

I've had a profile on Blipfoto for nearly three and a half years and have posted very day since I began. I'm planning to stay for as long as I'm alive and Blipfoto exists. If you're the type who likes a good challenge and enjoys photography, I would strongly recommend joining Blipfoto then, just click here and follow the steps to creating a profile. I hope you're up for the challenge!

Internship Checking Out!!!

The Sunset A Few Weeks Ago

Believe it or not, it has been almost ten months since I moved from Epe to The Hague Den Haag to join Redeemer International Church as an intern with NewGround's Impact Year. Its been an incredible season in my life. A season full of surprises and blessings, a season of growth that has been full of obstacles and hurdles to overcome. I'm extremely glad that I did do Impact in the end (even though I didn't want to do it when I first applied). So I'd like to take this opportunity to look back on the last nine and a half months before I start rambling on about the next step; something that I'm gonna dedicate a whole post to what I'm planning to do next, which will probably be posted  at some point over the next two or three weeks, I'll probably post the link through to Facebook, as I usually do.

My Biking Companion

Looking back, I'm glad that I've done Impact. Its been a challenging year in many areas and in many ways. One of the biggest things that has changed in the last year, other than my relationship status, is that my relationship with God has deepened greatly. One thing God has really been showing me is how important it is to love people, even if I don't feel like loving them. Its easy to love people who are loveable, like our partner, friends, family and those who we care about. Its a whole different matter when it comes to those who irate us, or get on our nerves. There are a few people like this who I've come into contact since I started impact. Choosing to love these people, and not let them get under my skin, has been a challenge. Its something I'm still learning to do... having to choose to love these people rather than make their lives miserable (which is something I could so easily do).

I've learned that working outside my comfort zone is something that I shouldn't be scared of, but something that I step into every now and then. I've been given I used to hate stepping outside of my comfort zone because bad things usually would happen when I did. Now, I actually enjoy rising to the challenges I've faced when I've stepped out of my comfort zone. In a way, my comfort zone has gotten larger and more flexible. I don't feel like I'm hiding so much anymore. I used to hide a lot behind a wall I erected around myself, because I didn't want people to get too close to me. This has generally been through the heavy use of my iPhone and iPad. I'm still quite particular about who I trust, but I've had to teach myself not to shut the whole world out and try to figure things out on my own. Its still a work in progress and probably will be over the next few years.

Until next time... goodbye.

Love God Greatly; Send Me

One of the things that I learned over the years is that only one thing matters. I need to choose to remain in the will of God, indifferent to what those around me say I should or shouldn't be doing. I've come across this a few times in my life, when I've been on the cusp of making a life changing decision and I've felt torn between two parties. One says that I shouldn't be making that decision because I am where God wants me. Whilst the other says that the decision I'm about to make is the right decision. This has made the decision really hard to make because both parties were made up of people who were I respected and who's authority I was under. I'm not asking for a discussion about your thoughts on what I should have done... I can't go back and change the past but the decisions I've made up until now have been based on my relationship with God. There are people who I bounce my thoughts and prayer requests off because I know they'll confirm whatever or not what I've received is something I need to pursue. There's something I remember something that a friend said during the lecture phase of my Discipleship Training School DTS. She said that I shouldn't be totally dependant on the words of knowledge from other people as the main source of God speaking to me. She had a point. At the time I was too dependant on what other people were saying to me, because I couldn't hear God for myself. It was during the outreach to Brazil the team I went with prayed into this and after that God started speaking very clearly to me.

If God wants me to stay in the Netherlands, then this is where He has chosen to send me... but if He sends me somewhere else, then that's my mission field. Its a choice to follow the Good Shepherd, even if it means staying in Europe rather than going else where.

It's Not Goodbye

The last week has been harder than I even thought possible. So much has happened since I wrote here. In my last post I wrote about what happened three weeks ago, when I flew to Spain, in regards my maternal great uncle (I'll be referring to as my grandfather for the rest of this post), was in hospital. He wasn't doing well, but I thought he would pull through. On Monday, 24 April, I woke up to the news that he'd passed away in the early hours of the morning. I went into shock and it took me about two days before the tears came. I didn't know if I'd make the funeral (on Wednesday 17 May) as I'd booked my flights to see Andy but was returning to the Netherlands on the Sunday beforehand. My parents offered to pay for me to change my return ticket so I could go. Andy also managed to get the day off work to come with me to the funeral.

The day before I flew to England, I got a message from my dad saying that the health of his mother, my Oma, was getting worse, much worse. Her health has been bad for years and had been slowly getting worse. Now it was deteriorating fast and my parents, who were in Uganda at the time, booked their tickets to Netherlands to see her. Saturday was the earliest they could fly out. On Friday night, I flew to England as was the plan. It was on Saturday afternoon, in the kitchen of Andy's host family, when I got the message from my dad saying that my grandmother had passed away.

Here in Holland, the funeral takes place very quickly after the person passes away. This is true for Oma. The date picked for her funeral was Thursday, 18 May (five days after she passed away). So my parents booked a ferry to England to make it to my grandad's funeral on Wednesday 17 May. They also booked the return trip to the Netherlands the same night to make it back in time for my Oma's funeral the next day. My flight back to the Netherlands was in the late evening on Thursday, which meant I wouldn't have made it to Oma's funeral, so my parents booked me onto the return ferry with them.

I'm not going to write anything about what happened at either funeral because its still really raw for me and for my family. I've really been grateful that I was able to go to both funerals and that Andy was able to come with me to Grandad's funeral.

As I sign off, I want to say that I'll always miss Grandad John and Oma. They are two special people who have both departed and I hope that I'll be able to see them both again one day. This quote is so true: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

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The Storms Of Life

A Self Portrait With My Mum

The last few weeks have been extremely turbulent emotionally, which is why I've stalled writing anything on here.

About three weeks ago, I got news from my mum saying that her uncle, my great-uncle, was sick and had been admitted to hospital. Growing up, I had no contact with my mother's father, so my great-aunt and -uncle stepped into the role of grandparents to Hannah, Caleb and me when I was roughly five years old. So when my mum told me that my grandad was in hospital I was  very concerned, and prayed for the best. No one knew what to expect, but we all hoped he would pull through. Mum booked her ticket to the UK almost as soon as she heard that grandad was sick.

I had impact training in Spain week after I'd heard from mum about grandad's deteriorating health, so I couldn't travel over to England to be with her and the rest of the family. I flew into Valencia the day before the rest of the impact training team (this was due to not being able to find cheap tickets that matched up with the rest of the group and also meant I was flying out the day after they left). On the Monday morning, I was in an AirBnB, and woke up to the message from my mum, saying that grandad had passed away. I went into shock and tried to push the truth away. I didn't really want to process this. When the team arrived, I told them what had happened. It took me until Wednesday before the truth began to sink in and the tears began to flow.

King's Day 2017

That week in Valencia was quite a rough week in general, and beyond the news of my grandad. There was several things that came up. Throughout that entire week, Andy was an incredible help with the processing of all that was happening. Outside the teachings we did some exploring together in our free time and also spent a lot of time talking about various things. One of the things we'd planned to do when Andy had come to visit me here in the Netherlands was wearing t-shirts to commemorate the Dutch Koningsdag (King's Day) on April 27, 2017. We both wore the t-shirts which caused quite a bit of laughter when people noticed the shirts, it was also in part to a play on Andy's surname.

When I got back from Spain, my mum came to visit on Monday. She'd flown to England to spend time with the family after the death of my grandad and had come over to The Netherlands for a few days, so I collected her from the Stena Line terminal. We then spent the day together in The Hague. It was great being able to see her and spend some time with her. We haven't seen each other since August 2016 when I went to South Africa for two weeks. I'm not sure when I'll see her again (probably not before the end of the year). My dad's still in South Africa, and will be traveling to Uganda soon with my mum. Because my mum won't be in England for my grandad's funeral, it means that I will presenting the immediate family at the funeral. I was going to be in the UK the weekend before anyway, so got a few days off and thus moved my return ticket so that I can go to the funeral.

An Introduction

For so long I thought I was doomed to singleness for the rest for the rest of my life. People tried to tell me otherwise, but I didn't believe them. A long time ago, I stopped believing it would change, as I saw many of my friends start relationships and get married, some of whom now have children. I began to find contentment in my singleness and I aimed to get to know God better. I began to realise that my relationship with Him was more important than any of my other relationships. I don't remember actually making the decision, it just happened. I was content and happy in being single, despite the pressures of the world around me (I'll post my findings on that at a later date).

Last week, a friend came to visit me in the Netherlands and left yesterday evening. It's safe to say he didn't stay just a friend for very long. So this post is me introducing my boyfriend, Andy, to you. I never thought this would happen and I couldn't be happier. I know you're all very curious about how Andy and I met and what the future holds for us. We're both doing the same internship, Impact, but with different churches and in different countries. Thankfully there's social media and fast internet, so we've been able to keep in contact, which makes this long distance relationship a little easier. Over the last three months or so we've been in contact on an almost daily basis and when Andy was over here he asked my dad if we could go out, which my dad gave his blessing to.

The future is still uncertain and might be announced in more detail on this blog at some point in the future. We're still talking about what's going to happen next and we would prefer not to do it on the world's stage. To be honest, I'm only writing this here because I'm sure many of you are curious about where we want this to go and want to know about it. The reason this has been kept so quiet is because we wanted to talk to my parents first and that's why it hasn't been posted online before (we also wanted to surprise the other impacters). All I'm going to say is that you're gonna have to wait and see where this goes.

Music

I've loved music for as long as I can remember. Beyond my relationship with God, music has been one of those things that has really helped me with getting through some rough times. Having been through a lot in my life up to this point, some of which has been effected negatively by my choice of music at the time, I've become a lot fussier about what I listen to. My time in boarding school, for example, I know that part of the reason I was struggling so much with depression was effected by the music I was listening to. I don't want to go down that road again so I've forced my taste in music to become more... refined.

A few years back some good friends of mine bought me an iPod Classic (pictured) and its become something that goes everywhere with me, like my iPhone. It took me a few months to realise that my iPhone 6 couldn't handle having any amount of music on it along with the other stuff I had on it (photos and apps). In the end my old iPhone was too clogged up to even store more than 200 photos on it. Thankfully my new iPhone has considerably more space on it than my old one did, though I'm not planning to save any music onto it (except, maybe on Spotify), because I have more music than current free space on my iPhone. I guess that says how much music I have. The reason I have the iPod is for music.

Now you're probably wondering what the reason is behind why I'm sharing this with you. It's because I thought it would be interesting. There are certain things that play a big part in my life, like my music and my photography, and I know I've written about my photography before but not so much about my music.

Life Is For The Living

Life is a gift that we so often take for granted. I've realised, more and more, how precious life is and how I've been taking it for granted.

Spring is coming and the world is slowly warming up. I've been watching how the effect of the sun on the plants around me. I normally bike to work each day and I've been watching how the plants and trees are slowly growing new leaves and flowers. I love it. I love spring for the beauty of new life. It's something I took for granted when I lived in Uganda. It was always hot out there and I took that for granted. As Europe emerges from winter's cold grip, I can't help but look forwards to long days and a lot of sunshine. I love the sun's warmth.

Now, what does this have to do with my life? Well, we all have seasons of darkness, winter, in our lives and I feel like I've finally started coming out of a season of deep winter. It's something that taken a few months of slow progress, basically since January, but I'm a lot happier now than I was back in November, when I had depression. People all seem to have assumptions and ideas about the reasons why I'm so much happier. I think part of the reason for this change is that I've started going back to the gym on a slightly more regular basis than I have been. The weather has also heated enough to leave my winter jacket at home when I head to the office... I'm not sure how long this beautiful weather is going to last for but I'm taking full advantage of it. I'm one of those people who is affected by the weather and the amount of sunlight that I can soak up and how long the days are. Given that the clocks have been moved forwards by an hour (on Sunday 26 March) and this has really had a good effect on me.

I'll write again soon.

Do take a moment to fill in this survey in for me. It would be interesting to see what your thoughts are on the changes I've been making over the last few months. I'm planning to close the survey by the time I leave for Spain on 23 April.

Spring Is Coming

The View Outside The Place We Were Staying With The Youth Group

The Netherlands is slowly emerging from winter's cold and icy grip... biking to work in the mornings are generally dry affairs, but occasionally there's rain. I'm still not used to the merciless European rain and biking in it can be cruel. After I got back from impact, I house sat for some friends and I got soaked on the way there (and spent several hours in wet clothes). The flowers are starting to come out. Spring isn't my favourite season but I do prefer the warmth of spring and summer to the winter's coldness.

A big highlight for me this month has been the youth weekend away in Woundenburg. We had ten teenagers and four staff at a quaint little place in the countryside. We had three seasons of teaching and a few small groups (we divided the group into two; the 12-14's and 15-18's). We also played several games and had an absolute blast together... Rhodé (the youth leader) came up with some pretty cool games that entailed with many memories that will last a long time to come. I'm really enjoying working with the teens. It's one of those things on my calendar that I look forwards to, as they're a great group and a lot of fun to be with.

Over the last few weeks, I've been busy sorting through preparations for the future and working on various tasks that come with being an intern. I'm still enjoying the work I'm doing and I love the challenges it brings. A few weeks back, a few of us flew over to Sidcup, England, for the NewGround Prayer Days. On the whole I learned a lot about myself and God's faithfulness.

I'm still working on my plans for the future. There are a few question marks that I'm working towards answering and solving but I'll post here once I know what exactly is going to happen. It's exciting. I'm enjoying the challenges that come with looking forwards. I've written before about plans to stay in The Hague Den Haag and I'm slowly starting to formulate the next step in this regard.

I've been asking for your help for a few weeks now and no one seems to want to help anymore. This is the last survey I'm asking you to fill out for a while, as I want to make sure that I'm making good changes with my blog. I know that people have commented before about what I've been writing. My thinking goes as follows: if I don't know I'm making the right changes how can I improve? You can help by filling in the survey for me (so far I've only had two responses). Just click here.