Goodbye May, Hello June

The Forest That I Live On The Edge Of

I'm kinda at a loss about what to write, again. Yes, things have been busy over the last few weeks, but I don't know how to write even one thing down without my post becoming a bore to read. I guess there are enough blogs out there that involve a degree of boredom that get you closing the window as soon as you've read through the first paragraph. So I'm going to try to keep you interested with the rather mundane that is my daily life. Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing at the moment, but after the first five or six posts that are all very similar then my posts get boring to read simply because they're so similar to the previous ones I've written. I don't want to put you to sleep, or have you close this window as soon as you read the first few lines.

My life is filled with office work, admin and writing email. We've spent quite a lot of time trolling the internet in search of cheap tickets to Rwanda. I think I checked the websites of about seven or eight airlines, wrote to an organisation that arranges cheap flights for missionaries and triple checked www.skyscanner.com. Because we're sending our teams out during the high peak travel season (July and August), the flights are more expensive than off peak seasons (during the schools' term times). Changing the dates isn't an option. So we're still looking for those cheap tickets, with the hope we can book them sooner rather than later, as they'll just get more expensive (especially for a larger group).

The Trees Outside The GOTeams Windows

Summer is definitely coming as the weather is slowly warming up, with a couple of bouts of cold rain or wind (or both). I'm quite happy that the weather's getting warmer as it means I can go running without being freezing cold (no matter how fast I run, I still get cold). Its quite interesting for me to observe how ready the Dutch are for some warmer weather. As soon as the sun comes out, the amount of people on base in shorts goes up. A lot of people will wear shorts on the base when the sun's out and its not cold outside. When the sun's out and the temperature outside is nice, people will congregate around the tables outside the Coffee Corner (this is where the mid-morning and mid-afternoon breaks are taken and where the coffee and tea is made). I'm really looking forwards to summer this year, as I do every time I have to live through a European winter. I guess I still miss the constantly nice weather in Uganda. I guess having roughly nineteen years of tropical weather all year round is quite hard to shake off.

This Is On The Edge Of The Bike Path To Heidebeek

Over the last few weeks I've been spending some time with one of the Bible For Life B4L girls, McKenzie. We started talking during the Open House, as she'd been assigned to the Youth Field. It was during the next few weeks that we realised that we've got a number of things in common, like our love for Scotland and a historical series called Outlander (Outlander is a series that starts in 1945 about a young woman who gets thrown back two centuries to the period right before the Jacobite uprising that ended at Battle of Culloden (April 1946), when the Scots were ruthlessly massacred by the British under the leadership of William Augustus, Duke of Cumberland. The Jacobite uprising brought an end of to the Scottish way of life up until that point). We watched a few episodes together on Sunday and we're planning to meet up again to watch some more episodes. I'm really grateful to have found someone who's likeminded.

All of the Noise

I really miss my Dachshund, Bessie, who I had to leave in Uganda in 2012

Its one of those days.... when fatigue is a very present reality and worries about everything, especially my future, crowd my already tired mind. I'm still swamped by the uncertainty of what happens next... what happens in September when my time as a of volunteer ends. I don't know what I'm going to do next and I'm really struggling to focus on what God wants, what God is saying. So many people want to know, and throw their thoughts on the matter into the mix... something that doesn't help me focus on God. Its a bit tricky hearing God's voice when a hundred other voices crowd out his still small voice. Don't get me wrong! I appreciate the fact that people care enough about me to want to share what they think, but at the moment, its really confusing and unhelpful.

So often, over the last few weeks, I caught myself wishing that things were as straight forwards as when I was a child... when things were so clearly outlined by life in school and life outside of school. I remember I wished, so badly, that I could grow up and be able to do things without being bullied about it (I was bullied almost all the way through school). Now, I am an adult and the problems seem to have just multiplied a couple of times, though its not bullying that I'm worried about anymore. I'm not asking for your sympathy, just your understanding. I'm not looking at receiving help for all this, I'm just asking for your prayers that I'll God's voice about the way forwards and the next step I need to take.

Time Out

I'm staring at my computer screen, at a loss about how to start this post. I'm also at a loss about what to write this post about. Last week was so normal that you'd click away real fast, if I started rambling on about that, and what we were doing in the office.

Yesterday was a day off thanks to the Monday after Pentecost being a public holiday in the Netherlands (why I don't know). So today, is the first day of the week this week... its Tuesday morning, and my brain feels like its about to stop working. I didn't sleep well last night. I haven't slept well for a couple of nights, due to nightmares or restlessness. I'm someone who needs a lot of sleep. Its something I've never totally understood, and given people's reactions over the years, something they haven't understood either. For me, enough sleep is in the vicinity of 7 to 9 hours a night. I just can't sleep during the day... something that stems from my childhood (I had issues with sleeping during the day for as long as I can remember). The only times I've slept during the day is when I'm really sick or have been travelling overnight (I can sleep in planes, cars, buses, I just struggle sleeping in brightly lit, noisy airports; something I know from experience). I don't intend to complain about being tired. I'm just trying to keep my posts more honest. I've kinda had enough with not being totally honest in my posts. Its not worth the time of day and its rather boring. I don't keep a Vlog... given I'm not planning to start one any time soon, due to lack of finances for the software.

Until next time..

Opinions

Over the last few weeks, I've really been thinking about how influenced we are, as humans, by the opinions of those around us. Our friends, our colleagues and our families, even random strangers and acquaintances we barely know play a part in how we act and essentially makes us act in certain ways.

We have opinions about everything, and everyone we meet. Studies have shown that we form an opinion about a stranger within seven seconds of meeting them... what we do with these opinions are up to us. We need to know when to speak and when to stay silent. Over the last few years I've had to really guard my soul from hurtful comments from people and forgive them for what they've said. Often I'm not sure if they meant what they said to be helpful or to hurt me. I try to think they're trying to be helpful and didn't mean for it to come across badly.

I don't want to pick a bone with anyone in regards to this post... people take offence so easily and over things that don't involve them. I want my posts to be more honest. I'm not writing what any one group of people want to hear. If I don't write down the truth I see, then I might as well stop writing... and I really don't want to do that. So please respect the fact that we're all allowed to have our own opinions.

Please note. I just want to say I'm not writing this because someone said something to me. I'm not so low as to write it here. I've written this post because this topic is something that I want to share... it's a free world, please give me the freedom to express myself on this platform.

In Review

The End of Inflated Obstacle Course

The Open House 2016

A lot has happened over the last week, mainly Open House and the run up to that. Open House is a day that is taken very seriously by this base as a day to promote the ministries that are run here. Open House takes place every year on Ascension Day, which is a public holiday in the Netherlands. We expected a lot of outsiders to come through, we spent the two days running up to Open House cleaning every corner of every building on the property, or so it seemed. We started the week, with a normal office day, though Bas did come in. Normally Bas isn't in the office on Mondays, but he came in to help with the preparation of the youth tent, as we'd planned to talk through what we were going to do.

We were in charge of the youth tent, which was aimed at teenagers (so from the age of thirteen and up). The base had hired an inflated obstacle course and a bouncy castle. The bouncy castle was promptly set up on the children's field, which was on the other side of the grounds. One of the other staff (from another department) had organised an entire program for the kids, aged twelve and under. During the Open House itself, one of my main roles was keeping an eye on the comings and goings of the teenagers and making sure that no little person under the age of 13 came onto the field as the youth field had been set up for 13 and older. We didn't want the teens to feel that the space that had been set up for them was being invaded by the really young kids. We also didn't want to risk any of the kids getting hurt on the inflated obstacle course.

The Guys Testing the X-Box

We also had a tent set up, on the youth field, with some music playing, as well as an x-box and some sofas. We wanted to give the teens the space to feel that they had a place to hang out with their friends and have fun (this is one of the reasons why I was keeping an eye out for children under thirteen. I did have to tell a few children that they were too young, and that being five didn't make them old enough to be there. It wasn't nice but it had to be done). The x-box was a huge success and was on whenever there wasn't a meeting in the big tent. There was two gatherings during the Open House, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. During both these sessions we turned off the x-box and fans that kept the obstacle course inflated, so that the teens had a chance to go to the meetings too.

There was a worship band and a talk from the base leaders. There was also a dance group, called 24 (after the amount of hours they meet each month). I was standing at the back of the meeting tent so couldn't see the dances they were doing. During the afternoon meeting, after the worship, a Christian rapper from the north of the Netherlands, Queen P, shared her testimony and then rapped a few songs. She'd been asked to come and share by one of the organisers of the Open House.

The Deflated Obstacle Course

During the course of the day there was a number of seminars that were run, promoting the different schools and courses run on the base. There was a historical tour of the buildings. There was plenty of food, cakes and muffins, through out the day. Rolls were provided at lunch time and the base had dinner together after the guests had left for home.

In total we had around 900 people come and visit through out the day! Some were family and friends of the base staff and students. Others had heard about the Open House through their church, or some just saw the flyers in the shop windows. Some of the guests have come back to Youth With A Mission YWAM Heidebeek's yearly Open House for years and years, others were here for the first time. And we also had a number of people who had done their Discipleship Training School DTSs here over the years and return to see people who they know and see how things how are going on the base.

Spring Flowers Are Everywhere!!

Because Thursday was a public holiday in the Netherlands, the base was closed on Friday, as compensation for us. I think it was a good reward as everyone worked so hard in the preparation and run up to the Open House that took place last week (if you're interested in coming to the next Open House at YWAM Heidebeek, do check out the YWAM Heidebeek website. If you want to save the date, Open House 2017 is on May 25, 2017).

GO Teams

I'm glad to say that we have all the leaders for the GOTeams that are going out this summer! This year it was quite a challenge getting leaders for the teams as most of the people we asked to consider leading a team were willing to lead a team in the summer of 2017, but they weren't able to lead a team this summer. In a couple of weeks time, I'll write a post about the teams that are leaving for the field. I'll also write about how things are going with the outreaches, as we get closer to the summer.

We've got about two and a half months to go before the GOFest starts and we're starting to get excited about the whole thing. The GOFest takes place at the beginning of the GOTeams outreach. The participants arrive on Friday evening, and will have four days to get to know one another, as well as having lectures on different topics. It will be during this time that the Faith Experience will pray about where God wants them to go.

The Sun Coming Up, Taken From My Bedroom Window

In Other News

I'm doing well. I've been enjoying the warm weather we've had over the last week or so (summer seems to have hit in full force, along with the higher temperatures). I'm still struggling finding topics to write about that interest me. I mean, I've just written a post about the Open House and what we did, but I know that a lot of people on the base have written about the Open House, so I'm only bringing another perspective to the many already out there. It was my first Open House that I was able to attend. Over the previous years, since my DTS, I've always been overseas. I really enjoyed being a part of Open House 2016.

I've also been praying about what God wants me to do in the future. My work with YWAM Heidebeek ends in the first week of September and thus there's already a few ideas on the table, as it were. So I'd like to ask you to pray that I'll do what God wants me to do next, rather than on what I'd like to do. I won't post anything here until I know for sure what I'll be doing (this won't be until the end of June or even later). I don't want to say that I'm going to do something and then have it fall through. If you're interested in knowing, do keep an eye on this space for more news about that.

I'm also planning to write some blogs on a couple of topics that are I've been thinking about quite a bit over the last few weeks (I just haven't written them yet, because I've kinda had a case of writer's block...).