Who am I? What defines me as, well, me? Am I secure enough in the opinions of my creator to stand up to what the general public think of me?
As I write this, I can't help but think of my childhood and the years I spent in Uganda. I was so insecure about who I was and what my classmates thought of me. I wanted to be accepted by them, but that never happened because I didn't come from wealth (my parents are missionaries), I didn't have the latest technology, I didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't have any taste in fashion, and the list goes on. It's taken a lot of work grounding myself in the knowledge that God loves me the way I am and that He accepts me the way I am... this doesn't mean I can do whatever I want, and get away with it. I've sinned, I've fallen short of the glory of God, but God sent Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins, so that I can live with God and have a relationship with God through Jesus, because of his death and resurrection. My relationship with my Heavenly Father is something I really enjoy and I started a prayer journal a few months back. I got a folder and some dividers, so I could work through different topics with God, without worrying that I hadn't made that section big enough. I have showed people how the layout works but I'm not so keen on sharing what I've written because most of it is personal, between God and myself. It has really helped because now I have everything together in one place, rather having one note book and loosing things in it. To be honest, its more efficient than a whole host of notebooks.
 |
| "Prince of Peace", by Akiane, 2003 (aged 8) |
One big thing I've learned over the last few years is that people have different standards of how things should be done, how people should have a relationship with God. All I can say is that what works for one person doesn't work for another person. I can't do structure with my quiet time. I can't force myself into having a set quiet time each day at a certain time. I'd get bored and distracted. However, that might work for you. My quiet times tend to be when I'm sitting with a cup of coffee and I end up discussing my life with God, or when I'm biking somewhere and I see an eagle fly in front of me, and I heard Jesus speaking to me about the eagle. Its varies and its interesting. I do read my bible on a regular basis, and I have a devotional, which I try to read every day. I'm just not a big fan of a fixed quiet time. There have been times when its been in my schedule and I can tell you that I was too distracted to focus, every day for that hour and a half (or however long it was) on having a decent quiet time. Be open to what suits you, and don't let other people force you into conforming to their standards.
During my School of Intercessory Prayer SOIP we had this one
lecture about seeing Jesus, and all I can remember of it now (without having to get my
notes), is how Jesus appears to different people. One of the stories is
about an eight year old, Akiane, who painted the original (of the photo
on the right) after meeting Jesus in a dream. Her skill as an artist is
incredible.
Until next time