There's moments when things don't make sense to me. There's so many times I've stopped to think about my life. The good things can be so hard to see even when they're staring me in the face. Over the last ten days or so, God showed me, very clearly, that things aren't over. The journey isn't over just because my LMD finished months ago. He asked me to let things go and come out of my shell. To open up and learn to trust again.
There's a part of me that won't trust, can't trust, the others around me. I love them dearly and they've come to mean everything to me. I just liked hiding behind my walls because I thought I was safe there, even though it was lonely. I tried to see the good things from behind the walls I'd build, but the view wasn't there to see. The dam began to give way last week when we had a simple, yet extremely difficult challenge. Opposite spirit week. We all have to go in the opposite spirit to what we normally did. We didn't choose what our challenge was, God did. He told the staff what each person's challenge was going to be. It was tough hearing what God wanted but in a way, it didn't come as that big of a surprise.
In one go, my defense was gone, taken away. I'm an introvert (please don't tell me that I'm not one, just read this article when you're done. I love people but I also need time to recharge, on my own). I've taken to hiding behind my technology (my phone in particular) because I didn't want to talk to anyone as I didn't want to be forced to let them in to my heart and truth them. I thought it was safer that way. When God took break through my defenses, He showed me what one of the cornerstones of friendship is. It's trust. Trust also means not letting the people I share my life and this beautiful house with see only the best of me. It means letting them into the moments of pain, the moments of fear and the moments of inner struggles. It's a journey I'm on and I'm still learning, but that's the beauty of friendship. True friends love you even when you mess up, big time. They love me despite it all. They've become a family away from my own family in South Africa. It's a privilege serving alongside such a vibrant, international group of people.
Photos: the first one is the view from my window, at night, and the second one is of my vibrant and beautiful friend, Laura, from the distant land of Argentina.