In the early hours of this morning, The Lord kept me awake until I'd penned this. It's something that I've thinking about for quite a while and I just wrote it down last night.
That moment when you realize you truly love someone, you're willing to lay down your own happiness just so they can have it. Yes, love makes you do crazy things, but what if you're crazy enough to deny your own desires for the sake of the other person?
There's a type of love that is deeply rooted in selfish. Yes, you love the other person but deep inside you only care about yourself and your own happiness. You're more willing to sacrifice their happiness on the alter than you are. You desperately want that person to love you back, because you think you deserve to have their love. You try to force their hand, try to take their free will. This isn't true love, not matter what anyone may say.
True love is when you're willing to let the person you love go. When you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness so the other person can be free to love you in return, out of their own free will. At the same time you're giving them the freedom to choose to love you back. I know it hurts deeply when you discover that the person you love, actually loves someone else and is loved back. I've had first hand experience. But if you truly love that person, you'd quietly let them go, without making a fuss, without trying to win them over to your failed cause. True love is risking everything without the hope of getting anything back.
True love and free will should walk hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. You might wonder where I'm going with these two statements. In the beginning, when God created Adam and Eve, He loved them with the purest and truest of all loves. He wanted them to be happy and thus He gave them the freedom to choose, out of His passionate love, He gave them free will. When they chose to disobey, and thus face the consequences that their actions merited, they lost the real meaning of true love. When sin entered the world a twisted concept of love came in too. This twisted concept of love was rooted in selfishness, pride, sin (to name but a few). All you need to do is look around, you can still see it in the world today. That's why there's so many broken relationships, so many broken marriages, so many ruined families, when at least one of the parties were out to seek their own interest, their own ambition without worry about the cost it'll have for all involved. Selfishness destroys. Love builds.
It should be a two way deal. When both parties constantly give without worrying about getting anything back. When one side constantly gives and the other side doesn't, then something's wrong. The giver will feel drained, tired of giving and getting nothing back. Whilst the receiver (or should I say, the taker?) uses the love that they're receiving to manipulate the giver. They don't care about the other person, but they like the feeling, that they're needed. They'll try to manipulate the giver, to continue to give, but they'll never go through with their promises. This isn't always the case, but it could be. There is hope for both parties, but only if both see the effects of this dangerous relationship. It isn't just between two people in love, it could happen between parents and children, between friends, between husband and wife, between anyone.
The relationships we have with those around us should reflect the love God has for us. Many of us know the Bible's most famous verse, John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." This verse is just saturated with God's love for us. We failed Him. We disobeyed Him. You might point out that it was Adam and Eve who disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden, but how many times have we broken the rules? Too many times, but God still loves us. He'll always love us. I remember my father once saying something like this in a sermon "if we really knew how much God loves us, we'd be dead where we sit." God loves us so passionately, so violently, but because God's love is purer than anything found in this world, He'd never let us know the full extent of His love for us, well, not whilst we're on this earth, at least. God's love is true. He'll continue to love each and everyone of us, despite our rotten, miserably messed pasts. He chose each and every one of us, and gave us a golden invitation. That invitation was through the death of his son, the son He loved! What's more powerful than that? God, the God who created heaven and earth, gave up His perfect, innocent, blameless son to die for our sin, to die a sinner's death, in the most violent way possible (at that time), so that we may enter into the kingdom. He loved you and me so much He sent His only son to take away our sin and shame. If that isn't true love, then I don't know what is.
God wants a relationship with you, He knows you aren't perfect. He knows you make mistakes. But He loves you anyway. That's what true love is, it sees over your mistakes, even though it isn't blind. He'll keep waiting for you to turn to Him. "My son, my daughter," says God the Father, "See I'm standing by the door and I'm knocking." You can choose to let God into your heart, choose to leave the old behind, and let Him make you new. It won't happen overnight. It's a journey you'll be on for the rest of your life. It'll be a journey of learning the true meaning of love and when you find it, learning to incorporate into every aspect of your life. It's not easy. You'll fail, but I can guarantee you, that every time you fail, Jesus is right there next to you, helping you up, helping you learn from your mistakes.
You might be wondering how I came to this conclusion, about the differences between true, perfect love and selfish, worldly love. Yes, I gave my life to God when I was three, but it wasn't until recently when I got this revelation from God. I'd seen how true love can effect and change every relationship we ever have. I'd seen it in the lives of the people who'd attended the marriage courses my parents ran. I've seen both true love and selfish love in my own life. I once loved this guy, and I wanted him to love me back. I think I was willing to do anything to 'make' him love me back. It didn't work and I'm so grateful to God that it didn't. I wasn't ready for a relationship. I doubt I am ready for one now. In a way, I wonder I'll ever be ready for one, because of the ongoing work God's doing in my life. Over the last year and a half, God definitely opened my eyes to what love really is. It's being willing to let go, to risk heartbreak, to trust that God knows best. Love is knowing when to stay silent, and when to speak. When to fight and when to stand down. If I ever fall in love again, I won't do what I did before. God has placed some incredible people over me and I know I'll be able to trust that they'll be able to lead, guide and pray with me. He's given me incredibly wise parents, who's advice I trust. With true love comes wisdom. Wisdom in knowing who to trust, who to go for advice. Sometimes those people aren't who we think.