Turbulent waters are difficult to forge. When the waves seem to be looming over the boat and dark clouds are too low, stretching from horizon to horizon. I've been hanging onto God because otherwise I'll see the waves and the dark clouds heavy with rain, like Peter did when he jumped out the boat at the sight of Jesus coming towards him. The uncertainty of not knowing exactly what's happening next is really difficult to live with. I'm one of those people who finds it easier going forwards when the road, at least with the next step, is clear. But you know what, I still choose to have faith that what God has spoken out over me is truth. He has a plan and a future for me.
On the other side of the coin, there is the excitement of what's going to happen next, even though it's still unknown. This excitement grips me from within, vibrating along my bones and resound in my chest and my head. At night when I try to fall asleep, I can't because sleep eludes me. Being a thinker, I find myself pondering my future and praying about the decisions I need to make. The position I find myself in was unseen and I'm ever so grateful that I know God and follow Him, I'm also ever so grateful for my parents. They're full of wise advise.
The last few days have involved me contacting different YWAM bases about their DTSs and BLSs (Basic Leadership School). I want to go where God wants me to go and as I send each email I've been praying over them. I that know I'm going be serving the Lord somewhere in Europe, as this has been confirmed a number of times, by different people, some of whom know nothing about me. I won't post exactly where I'll be going until I know for sure myself. It's all Father's hands. I trust that He'll sort things out before my South African visa expires in April.
In the visa department, I have to leave South Africa, properly, because I've applied for the second visa extension since I visited Swaziland at the end of last year. I was only given 30 days that time. So I have to leave South Africa... They won't allow me apply for another extension whilst I'm still in the country, and expect me to leave before my extension runs out. So, no stress in this regard.
Hopefully the next post will have more news about what'll happening next, what I'll be doing and where I'll be going.